Guys... Am I still normal ?
Just a 25‑year‑old with a lot on her mind
Hey chat, this is my little “diary.” No deep sociology analysis here. No big theories. Just me, myself and I (and a glass of wine).
Those days… im thinking about how im feeling lately, what i want, really want..
Sometimes, the world asks us to fit inside a box, to love in a certain way, to follow a map. Tonight, I refuse all of that. This is my story.
Am I bad, crazy, broken, or just too sensitive? I wonder if I dream too big for a woman. If I go beyond what’s “allowed”, am I stepping into territories no one dares to explore?
If I no longer want love, nor romance, nor a house, nor a car, nor a dog, the husband … am I still normal?
I want to go out, laugh, meet people, but also come home alone. Half the time. Sometimes I need someone to walk me home, to take care of me, go on date, you know to make me feel pretty .
And sometimes, I want to hear, “You are mine” even though deep down, I know I belong only to myself and this i feel it deep my core, I belong to me and don't want to belong to someone else, guys I'm still normal?
I’ve fallen in love with my freedom (and other but it not the subject). I’ve realized I will make no concessions. I want and i am free as the air, deep as the ocean, brilliant as the stars, untamable as the storm, vast as the horizon. I will not be yours, I will be mine.
And if I share myself, it will be by choice. I want to walk barefoot, laugh without shame, leave whenever I want. Feel the earth under my feet, the wind in my hair, the infinite stretching before my eyes.
I want something big, deep something i’ve never felt.
I wanna know where to place my being and where to invest my joy. Like the sands of the desert, I want to keep living, through seasons, through my versions, in the wind, in love, in passion, in my laughter, in my tears, in my vibrations.
I want to keep learning, keep meeting people, keep loving, keep sharing myself, keep learning myself.
To live in freedom. To live bigger than romance. To remain myself. To give, and to share, only with whom I choose.
So, guys is it normal?
Okay i loved writing this. Just talking about what in my mind. My life without big theories, this might become a mini series, why not?